I binge it's what I do. It used to be alcohol (sober 20 years last April) but now it is food. It is not who I am it is what I do to cover up the inadequate feelings I have about myself. I know all of the buzz words and all of the reasons that I should not feel this way but it does not make it go away. I binge when I am angry, stressed, feeling like I failed in some way or want to avoid conflict which only creates inner conflict then leads to binge sessions.
I say this only so others will not think they are alone. I have heard it said that confession is good for the soul and mine is so weary as of late. I am tired of fakery and pretending that the ugly things in life don't exist. I can only work on the ugly in my life when I acknowledge that it is there and I am not perfect at it and probably never will be.
I am very blessed to have the Lord in my life and will continue to seek him because as long as I have been fighting this addiction it is only he that brings relief. I don't ask that you understand in the sense of attempting to help me cure this I only ask that you understand in the attempt to not judge me for this. Love is all I ask. Baby steps in everything for now.
Love and Prayers,
Kim
