Broken hearted goodbye

We had an extremely eventful day today. Not just because we had to put our hamster to sleep but because two of us had to grow up. I have been through the loss of a pet more times than I care to remember and although it never gets easy this one was the hardest yet.

We stood in the vets office with the same feeling or thought in the back of our minds that we knew he would not make it but, when the words actually came out of his mouth and my little girl's heart was broken she went from 11 year old little girl to 11 year old big girl. My heart sank and broke right along with hers but not because of the hamster directly , because this was one of those hurts I could not kiss away.

This was a big girl hurt that was as bad as it could get at that moment. When he said there was no hope but what did we want to do? I could not imagine putting that decision into her sweet little hands as she cried over her best little buddy. I asked her if she wanted me to decide so she would not have to. She gave me such a relieved look and yet so much sadness. We both grew up a bit more today, and Lord willing I believe this was in a way the glue we needed.

She will experience more hurt in her life and I know it is part of growing up, I just need to make certain she is always pointed to the Lord for the only comfort that will truly heal the broken heart and make goodbye not sting so bad.

It may have only been a hamster to many but the situation was an opportunity to gain some more ground in my big girl's heart. Praise God for every teaching moment large and small, happy and sad.

Love and Prayers,
Kim

Nothing Between

I am so struck by the fact that I wasted so much time with bitterness and anger. I missed so much joy, peace, and contentment. Joy in the simple things peace with the crazy times and contentment in just having a small still voice to listen to.

Today was our 17th wedding anniversary and we spent the day going to a farmers market, a vegetable stand and picking apples with the kids at an orchard. We were walking along at the orchard with the kids in front of us talking about the fact that we never dreamed we would be so very blessed. Blessed with three amazing kids, a strong church, a strong marriage and above all a much stronger relationship with the Lord than we ever had.

These blessings would have gone unnoticed and unappreciated without one simple act of surrender. I had to get something right recently and when the channel opened up and there was nothing between my soul and the savior blessings poured out from every direction. True blessings not materialistic temporary false nonsense but true blessings, like being able to be a blessing to others, being able to be used of the Lord in different situations with other church family, and other mom's.

Now that I have experienced this type of reality in Christ my on going prayer is for others to experience it and for me to have nothing between. May you always strive for this with me.

Love and Prayers,
Kim